she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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