Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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