i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
time to smoke my breakfast
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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