Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
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Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
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all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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