She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
