I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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