i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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