I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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