I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
