drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize