it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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