You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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