I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
