One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize