No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
