laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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