Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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