I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
