there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
