ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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