Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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