you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
