it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
