New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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