thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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