Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
