If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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