i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
