Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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