I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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