She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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