My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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