I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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