Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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