You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
