i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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