I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize