U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
