You can't special order awesome
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
