So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Vodka?
Forever.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
