Just fell off a train. Bad.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
