Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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