where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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