yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
