how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
