just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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