Your tits are I can't wait for
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
