My pussy is not your playground.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
