i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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