Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
