I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
