my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
