I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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