come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
