We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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