Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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