We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
