i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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