i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
love makes seman taste better
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
