We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
