Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
