roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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