i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
