i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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