Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
