Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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