I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
