every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
