no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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