Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
