i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
