she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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