At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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